CHAPTER 1: Kya Pata Kal Ho Na Ho

When a child is born,
there are so many feelings attached to him/her
there r so many people weeping just bcz tht new life is here on earth and
many a lives have changed now as this child is born

somebody has become a mother someone has bcm a father
someone a grand father and the list continues to infinity

tht child changes there world
and no one sees if he child id ugly or beautiful but they love tht creation of god and all enjoy with him/her all the time,

they are lik i have to play with him and i have to take him in my hands and then that soft feeling which changes u, and u 4gt all the worries of ur lif and u just concentrate on taking that cute and soft child in ur hands,

thn whn the child plays and cries u cant see him crying and u come running out of the blue and gt angry on one another tht it was not ur mistake and thn u pledge tht we all will never let him cry and we will take care of him.

and u do u actually do

then the boy grows up and start seeing things his way
then u tell him things can be better and this is the way to do it and this is not the way to do it

who told u tht
may be ur fathers and ur grandfathers
(things tht we follow and things we dont is a different topic and i am not going into tht)

BUT Y DO WE SAY THINGS CAN GET BETTER AND SAY LIF IS BEAUTIFUL AHEAD
BUT U HAVE TO DO ONE THING

P
U
S
H


S
O
M
E

M
O
R
E

IS THIS WHAT WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT

IS THIS LIF BEAUTIFUL

and how the fuck can pushing make a lif beautiful

i think life is one big sea and we should let it flow where it wants to flow and we should not stear it our own way bcz it will eventually reach its own predetermined destination

now let us start wht i came here for

i was 2 years old and i dont remember but my mom,dad , didis tell me i was so exited by the thing called study tht they used to say adi khana khale mein tujhe padaoongi (how the fuck can anyone do this yaar, was i so bad whn i ws young) but they say this used to happen, i say ok good badiya hai

then came school
then started the phase in my life which is still not over
and i dont think it will get over

i dont know how i didnt gt the concept of school, teaching, and
evry teacher was like always complaining about me
he does not study
he does not make notes
his mind is somewhr else

PTMs were like the worst days of the month
thn they started finding solutions to my problem
he is always sharpening his pencil so stop giving him sharpener
my parents lik OK

oops i didnt totally described my problem

my problem was whn the teacher was teaching us
i was very good in interaction
but the time she used to say write

i used to get blank she would write things on the board for half an hour
and wht i wrote was just the date the heading and CW(class work)
THTS it so this was my problem


ya back to the story
so my parents said OK
thn the problem still persisted
then the teacher said
he is constantly erasing smthin
stop giving him the rubber
the said OK
he is always using his hankerchief
the said OK
dont give him more than one pencil
they said OK

but the problem still persisted

noone and i say no one could get me out of it

but the end result
i became bad in studies and i lost interst in them
so i became a not so bright student
or i should straight away say very bad student

thn came the tutors

my parents and my sis have really suffered bcz of me as whn the notes were not thr how could they teach me for the finals and then the photstat thing was also not tht common
so wht wht my mother and di used to do
they used to go to my friends home and thn ask thier mom to give thm the copy and they used to copy all tht stuff by pen and hand and in the process my job was to sit their so tht they dont feel lonely and in the way have some aah many slaps on my face bcz of my sins

ya whr i was
haan then came the tutors

believe me or not
i have been on tutions since whn i was in 2nd
really funny but true

so they came and normally they were not used to teaching such small pricks
so they were also very harsh on me
but the end result same
NO IMPROVEMENT

i remember my father also used to teach me and whn i faultered the used to say open ur fingers and then he used to place the pincil between my fingers and then he used to close it by force

my fingers have become so much easy to tht
tht my fingers can hold the pencil thr now and with no pain and
they fit like they were made to stay thr

bu then also no result

then i remember whn i was in 5th
then came the golden line of my life and i still get to hear tht lin
but i really fuck the people now who say tht line

BETA EK BAAR 8TH TAK POOHANCH JA PHIR TO COACHING CLASSES HOTI HAIN TO MAZE HI MAZE PHIR PADNE MEIN KOI DIKKAT MAHI HOGI

hmmm.... achha ji
thik hai ye sahi

so adi started waiting for 8th whn his lif will become easier and everythinf will be sweet and nothing sour

thn came 8th and till now adi has become an introvert and an asshole types
kisi se baat karne ki himmat nahi
sab se darr lagta hai
felling uncomfortable between people

par koi naa
kisi tarah 8th tak ghisad ghisad ke pohanche to sahi

phir tha decision HINDI YA SANSKRIT

achha i didnt tell u naa
haha abhi bhi yaad karta hun to hansi aa jati hai
first term mein fail
second term mein fail preboard mein achi tarah se tayari kar k gya lekin phir failphir to madam was furious are tum to fail pe fail hue ja rhe ho
u r my duty
mein tumko pass nahi karungi

i had DAV boards in 8th and thn 33 to pass i got 32 ab aur kitne chahiye yaar
ek no. ka grace de ar pass kar

par nahi32
i am failing u
did u enderstand tht

u have to give re preboard and thn pass
OK?

ok

thn came the re preboard
u know how much i got
31
hahahahahahah
maam was lik

jao beta jao mein tumhe kuch nahi bolungi jao pass kia
and i triumphed

thn i just passed in hindi
then came the first choice
i was like life is a straight road and u just to keep walking on it
but i didnt know wth it had was just choices
tht it

so HINDI OR SANSKRIT?

i said sanskrit
bhai ek baar sanskrit mein pas hone ka chance to hai aur hindi is hopeless

ok but i needed a percentage
obviously i couldnt get it

thn came the life ka first jugad
the teacher incharge was a relative of some relative

so i got into the sanskrit section the last list
like as in the last cutt off list

but at least i made it
my friends were like salle tera jugad se hua hai
then i pledged ki sala life mein kuch bhi jugad se nahi karunga
jo bhi karunga khud hi karunga
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
IS THT POSSSIBLE
THE REST IS HISTORY
SABKO PATA HAI KI AB KYA HOTA HAI


chalo ab life assan hone wali hai
I GOT SANSKRIT
chalo i came on track mein classes mein notes banane laga
pr the writting was OOOOOOOOO HORRIBLE

thn again AAPKE BETE MIEN EK HI KAMI HAI
IMPROVE HIS HAND WRITTING NAHI TO LIF MEIN KAISE AAGE BADEGA
and my parents ok

ab ek nayi daud shuru hui
the writting sudharo abhiyan

jo abhi tak jari hai

phir wo sadi hui line phir se aa gayi

BETA EK BAAR 10TH PASS KAR LE LIFE BHAR YE NO KAM AATE HAIN PHIR TO LIFE SET HOTI HAI TO MAZE HI MAZE PHIR PADNE MEIN KOI DIKKAT MAHI HOGI

chao ye bhi sahi
thik hai bhai mulla ki daud mazjid tak
thik hai
ye bhi kar lete hain

chalte chalte ghisad te hue pohonche 10th tak

us time to poore saal
beta ek bar tenth bas phir to........ !@#$%^&*
bas subject achha mil jayeeleventh


mom and dad were like take commerce
but thn one person said to me tht if u take science
u will learn to ask y for everything
u will want asnwers and ur reasoning power will increase
ok yaar
waise he was a guy who changed my world(thats a different story "PRAKASH SHRIVASTAVA")
i thought
ill get a chance to prove my self and i will get better career opportunities


and a chance to shut the mouth of my critics

i got 71% i was so happy tht i was dancing like hell on tht day
i thought these will be enough
but destiny had different plans
i reached on the selection day
to find a line outside a room i asked and found out this is the line whr all those who want to take science are standing
OH MY GOD
such a big line
but no probs in my school one batch had 500 students tht was not the problem
the problem was in the notice on tht door
it said for science u need to have 75%
and all my dreams were shattered
thn u know wht happened





jugad






naa





crying







naaa








mee standing in the commerce line
and the science line was straight in front of my eyes in comparison it was lookin lik tht i am in unreserved class in railways and they were lik first class of aeroplane


i was feeling so insulted then i dont know 4m whr god came in dress of two students
one asshole like me and the other god himself

asshole: yaar i cant get science
god:y
asshole:i dont have enough
god:have u calculated?
asshole:ya 74%
god:abe 'english math science' mein itne kam? chi sale sharam aani chahiye hahaha
asshole:'english math science'? ye kya hai?
god: oh kutte dont tell me ki tune ye nahi pada ki ye teen subject ke hi calculate honge science k liye?
asshole:shit man lemme recalculate
and i also started my counting
75.1

haahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and thn i ran i literally ran
and back to first class i entered the room
and then
how many marks?
mam 'english math science' 75.1
kaunsi stream
mam non-medical
and she didnt even asked a question
could it be so easy
kya sahi main
but yes it was true
thn mam aur kuch
nahi bas cetificate ki copy hai
yes mam
chodd do yahin
ok mam jaoon?
haan!!!
thank u mam

thn i had i smile on my face

and i came outside and yes i have succeded
i have proved myself
i can do something
i am not jugadu
i had won this battle on my own

i have won
i have won

then started eleventh
i had interest
yes i did
but i dont know wht happened
i stopped getting marks
waise kaunsa aate the par phir bhi
classes were good
i knew almost everything
i had gr8 impression on teachers till the first pprs after tht i lost tht impression
bcz no reslut

pata nahi kaise nikli eleventh
par ek topic saath hi chalta rha
ki coaching karen ya nahi
are enginnering ki
entrance ki

i said yaar ya to ise pass kar lo ya use

i said meine to crash course naam eki chez suni hai
i am going to join tht

ok
then came twelfth

phir wo sadi hui line wapas aa gayi

BETA EK BAAR 12TH PASS KAR LE LIFE BHAR YE NO KAM AATE HAIN PHIR TO LIFE SET HOTI HAI TO MAZE HI MAZE PHIR PADNE MEIN KOI DIKKAT MAHI HOGI

ok ye bhi pass ho gayi
phir coaching
aur padai
wo bhi ek story hai
(yaad dilana "the help - god always helps those who have good frnds" phir kabhi likhunga)

lekin ek chez same rahi

BETA EK BAAR ENGINEERING ME HO JAYE LIFE BHAR MAZE HI MAZE PHIR TO LIFE SET HOTI HAI TO MAZE HI MAZE PHIR TO BETA ENGINEER HO JAYEGA

phir AIEEE-33000
jamia - rejected
dce - 3200
IP - 1982
(abe ye bhi ek form hai delhi mein hi hai bahar to hum ja nahi sakte to kam se kam delhi ke to bharen)

phir hua MAIT mein
phir

BETA EK SEM AUR
LIFE SET HOTI HAI
TO MAZE HI MAZE
PHIR TO BETA ENGINEER HO JAYEGA

ok ye bhi sahi
mujhe lagta hai u have got the point

then came

betaaaaaaaaaaa ek baar MBA entrance
betaaaaaaaaaaa ek bar MBA kar le

no doubt ye sare sapne meine hi dikhaye hain
aur mere maa baap ne mujhpe koi pressure nahi dala

the point is
ye kar le phir to lif set hai maze hi maze hain koi dikkat nahi aayegi life easy ho jayegi

but as we can all see tht everything is getting complicated
and more complicated

so never leave the masti fot tomorrow
as there is no tomorrow if u dont do the masti part in ur lif

and pls stop saying tht ki masti to baad mein bhi kar sakte hain

jitni masti karni hai saath saath karte chalo
wanra bude ho jaoge aur phir bologe yaar ye nahi kiya wo nahi kiya

so thanks for reading this much
and giving me so much of ur valuable time

NOW GO OUT THERE AND ENJOY
NEVER LEAVE THE MASTI FOR TOMORROW

LET US PLAY THE GAME CALLED LIFE

KYUKI KYA PATA
KAL HO NAA HO

THNKS



ADIOS